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Hello, Summer! How I’m Transitioning Through New Seasons of Life

I’ve been absent from social media and blogging. Or incognito. Or something. I’ve been posting less and following less. My priorities have kind of shifted for a season. Hello, Summer! There are some new life seasons, and this is how I’m transitioning. 

The end of February and March brought our first daughter, Lydia’s bridal shower and wedding. She was a beautiful bride, and she and her new husband clearly adore each other.

May brought our 5th child, Elizabeth’s, graduation from Legacy Academy homeschool high school. She graduated with the local homeschool group. There were 51 graduates who participated in the group graduation. Each student’s parents said a blessing over them. It was beautifully emotionally exhausting.

If it weren’t for my Lilla Rose business, I’d probably never have learned how to use Canva. Without Canva, I’d not have learned how to make yard signs for my daughter.

Then, over Memorial Day weekend, my husband left for two weeks to participate in grading thousands of American politics Advanced Placement (AP) exams in Salt Lake City. When he left Utah to return home, there were only 75000 entries to go. Needless to say, he’s still grading those here at home, in addition to leading his summer class at Western Michigan University, and the ones at his additional side gig adjunct professor job. Super funny, though, that in some ways when I had six children at home, his being away for a week or ten days was harder, but in other ways, it was easier than it was with two older children.

I miss all the kids being here doing our June projects!

Elizabeth, Anna, and I started working on our gardens around Elizabeth’s greenhouse work, which she started in May also.  We also worked around Anna’s horse volunteering and riding lesson schedules, and our various appointments. We’ve even been trimming tree limbs so they don’t poke us in the eyes while we garden. Our burn pile is ridiculously high. I’ve been investing in various tools that aid in reducing my imbalance issues or that don’t require me to rely on the muscle strength of someone else. Last year I invested in this drill attachment for digging holes for plants and bulbs. Honestly, I’ve also been using it in the garden to turn over dirt and mulch.

We are pleased with how pretty our property is turning out. We’re enjoying new yard ornaments, new humming bird feeders and the evening visitors to them each day, bird baths, and our month old ducklings enjoying time out on the lawn while we work.

In this new season, I’ve started seeing a mental health counselor. A lot of people criticize Facebook posts or other social media as “fake book.” It’s not fake or disingenuous keep all the dirt one or one’s family is going through, nor do all one’s thoughts need to be aired. Not putting up all the hurts, not engaging in all the “discussions”, etc, is merely respecting privacy or placing boundaries around relationships. Not everyone needs to be privvy to the inside scoops within personal and family dynamics. Sadly, we have learned this the hard way by being open and honest-so sometimes we’re either too honest or we’re accused of being a fake.

At the advice of my new counselor who is helping me transition through the new stages and seasons, I’m considering the things that drain me and the things that fill me as I explore my purposes. Some of the drainers are not things I can negotiate, like medical appointments and therapies. Even my OT has suggested that my neuromuscular brain retraining therapy is going slower with out finding more things that bring me joy in my life.

I’m placing an emphasis on rest and on rediscovering joy in this season. 

How am I doing that?

I’m making gifts.

I’m gardening.

I’m sitting with my chickens and listening to them.

I’m crafting. My kitchen currently looks like my brain exploded with craft ideas and supplies.

I’m cleaning and organizing areas of our home-just not the craft supplies in the kitchen.

I’m reading for pleasure.

I’m spending a lot less time on social media.

We’re considering what homeschooling will look like with only one child left at home, and where that child’s focuses should be.

I’m considering where my focus on my Lilla Rose business should be. For the summer, I’m doing no craft shows or festivals.

I’m enjoying my own company, quieting and holding captive my thought life, and enjoying the quiet of our home. Admittedly, sometimes it’s down right weird to be alone or to have quiet! Sometimes, I allow myself to grieve the losses I feel from the transitions. There have been a lot of changes to our lives in the last few years.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

What are you doing to enjoy summer this year?
Where is your favorite vacation spot?
What book will you enjoy?

Tell me here, and if you are a new to Lilla Rose or current LoveLeavingLegacy with Lilla Rose customer, enter my summer appreciation customer giveaway running until June 16th, 2022. I’d love to bless a winner with $17 in Lilla Bucks to use on my Lilla Rose website.

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Sharing Lilla Rose products and gifting are Joys for me!

 

Recipe: Venison, Vegetables, & Rice With Ginger Peanut Sauce

There were many blessings that occurred before my surgery in November, 2018. One was that I was introduced to Costco, then we were gifted a Costco membership, and we were gifted a great deal of venison for our freezer from two different families. These, and the several months of meals provided by family and friends supplemented our family’s meals and finances well, and we’re so grateful for all the help we’ve received! These have made our family recovery and the transition into our new normal easier. If you are any of those, thank you!

Costco has many freshly already prepared meals in, we discovered. Many of them freeze well, and worked to provide meals for us once we were “on our own” after family and friends who were staying with us had to leave, and the meal trains ended. Some of our favorites are the Chicken Pot Pie, Chicken Alfredo With Penne Pasta, Stuffed Peppers, and Kirkland Signature Salmon Milano with Basil Pesto Butter. We also enjoyed chicken noodle soup from the deli section, and Panera style soups in the refrigerator section, especially a Panera style Tomato Basil, a Broccoli Cheddar, and a Southwest Chicken & Bean soup. We were also able to make quick chicken dishes from cooked rotisserie boneless chicken in the deli/prepared meals section.

I really wanted to use the venison we had in the freezer, and I wanted to use the massive bag of frozen stir fry vegetables I’d gotten at Costco.  The challenge as a household manager is often making sure to do the shopping from the freezer and pantry rather than running to Costco or relying on Shipt. I do like keeping our pantry and freezer well stocked and well labeled, and I thrived on this kind of organization even before having brain surgery. It’s always worked for our household management. Now this management has been even more important for our circumstances. With a bit of a disordered brain, organization is now a survival tool to prevent stress and anxiety.

I saw a recipe on the Minimalist Baker, which seems to be a vegan site, but adapted the original recipe for ingredients since we’re not vegan, and I had to use what I had on hand. The Minimalist Baker appears to have great ideas and recipes, and I appreciated the inspiration behind this one.

recipe, venison, asian style meal, dinner, organization, freezer cooking, meal planning

 

recipes, organizational tips, food, freezer meal

Venison and Rice With Ginger Peanut Sauce

What is your favorite minimalist or use what you have on hand recipe?
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Fourteen Tips For Managing The Home When You Have A Chronic Illness

October 12, 2018 brought a doozy of a diagnosis to our home and family. Over the telephone on that day, two hours after a brain MRI, four days after meeting with the neurologist, he said “You need to immediately go to the ER to get seen faster. You have a large tumor pressing on your brain stem. The brain stem is shifted in such a way that you could die.” Those works brought significant trauma and anxiety. A few hours later in the ER, I met with a neurosurgeon who said “Yes. You need surgery asap, but the best brain surgeon in the hospital is on vacation. He left yesterday. I do spine surgeries, and I’m the best at that. I imagine you want the best at brains.” Funny how he made me laugh in my worst life moment. My response, through tears of fear but also a giggle, was something like “Ok. As long as I don’t die, I can manage and be patient. I’ve managed this long.” He sent me home on powerful steroids, and I met with the brain surgeon a couple of weeks later. That surgeon didn’t give me new information, but between the two neurosurgeon doctors and the ER doctors I’d met with, I had enough information to realize this was serious, and that my life and the lives of my husband, children, and my parents’ too, may forever be altered.

Praise the Lord none of the worse case scenarios came to fruition. Praise the Lord for fantastic medical care and therapy. I’ve been in therapy of one kind or the other since. While none of the worst case scenarios came to fruition, our lives are still changed. I’ve changed. My hearing has changed. My sleep has changed. My balance and fatigue levels changed. My ability to navigate groups and crowds has changed. Some of my roles as a wife, mother, and home based business owner have changed. How I can travel has changed. How I use my time has had to change to accommodate hours of PT, or facial OT, or trips to Ann Arbor, MI for functional Botox treatments, or to consult with a make up artist.

Praise the Lord for all kinds of help in those weeks leading up to surgery, the weeks I was in rehab, and the months afterwards. For many months, we had meals sent by church and friends. I had stored up freezer meals, too. Friends helped with transportation for me to therapy and appointments, and for the kids’ activities to give my husband a break.

But what about when all the help ended?

How does a family with the impact of a new chronic illness manage all the facets of home life?

Even after more than three years of dealing with this life changing diagnosis, we are still doing these fourteen tips. It’s okay to use services offered by companies! It’s okay to use help that is offered! It is okay to ask for help, or to decline invitations. These tips are about pacing yourself for low energy days.

Be sure to count your costs, sacrifices, or impacts of choices. No matter what you choose, there are some. They might not all be financial, but each choice comes with benefits and consequences. You decide which ones you can live with.

home management tips, chronic illness, health

  1. Recognize that everyone in the family household is affected, and some help choices might be for them, not just the one with the chronic illness.
  2. Schedule your USPS mail package pick ups so your body isn’t burdened by standing in lines and crowds while holding packages and boxes! Buy a postage scale and label makers, and employ websites like PirateShip or Ship dot com to put your own postage on your packages. Be sure to leave extra time for weather or other factors for when your packages are picked up by the mail carrier.
  3. Sign up for grocery services for grocery pick up or delivery in your area. Even grocery stores, rather than big box stores often have these options.
    a. We primarily use Shipt.com for grocery delivery in our area. You and I each get a $10 credit to our yearly membership for using this link, as there is a yearly cost for Shipt. It is a good idea to tip your shopper, so factor those costs into your grocery budget. Shipt now offers preferred shopper choices, and we love the shoppers we’ve selected. Shipt allows for you to pick alternate items if your preferred item is out of stock. My Shipt shoppers call me at home rather than texting or calling my cell and have been great about accommodating for my health issues, even packing grocery bags lighter for me to carry them into the house. Even during these Covid times, they’ve been careful to social distance, mask, and have respected all of our choices and directions. I choose when my order is delivered based on what is best for our routine and when I’m available to talk on the phone around therapy.
    b. We also use Instacart for our monthly Costco orders. We’ve not been as pleased with fewer customer service options, but for me, it is still a better option than being in the store. I honestly find I spend less money on our household and food budgets, too, with my shoppers sticking to the list.
    c. We order fish a few times/year or even monthly from the Wild Alaskan Co. here. Use this link for a $25 credit on your first order and for my next order. We also order cow or pork shares from local farmers, and stock our freezer with this meat supply as finances allow.
    d. Occasionally I forget an item and have to send the hubby anyway. Budget those accidents into the plan. Recognize that even using shopping services like Shipt or InstaCart, you are still the one providing for your family and your household, and in control of what comes in and out of your home.
  4. Do online ordering with an assigned pick up time for local farms or businesses too! We also use Amazon Prime
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    and other online sites for delivery of household goods, supplies, or animal/pet care.
  5. Maintain a routine for any other errands or appointments. We keep dog grooming, hair cuts, and dental/vision/medical appointments to Thursday afternoons or Fridays as much as it is within our control. Sometimes it’s not in our control and we have to adjust, so choose back up times in those instances.
  6. Double batch cooking on your energetic days. Plan to freeze one of those meals for a not so good or busy day.
  7. Hire babysitting help or housekeeping services as needed for medical appointment days or to give your body a chance to rest.
  8. Last summer we hired yard maintenance help, and since our DIY talents are even more limited now, we also hire for home maintenance help.
  9. Shut off phones and notifications. Close out of social media. You do not have to be available all the time to those outside your household. Have an emergency plan in place for family members to reach you when something urgent or emergent comes up, for instance, a text and immediate phone call might alert you or them to needing an immediate response. Otherwise, the call or text really can wait.
  10. I still utilize online church services for my fatigue or headache days. I don’t try to be everywhere any more, and neither should you. I’m thankful for the option! It’s imperfect, yes. But so is having a chronic illness. This is about making the most of what is available.
  11. Set boundaries with requests from outside your household. Sometimes that even means your family. It’s okay to say no! It doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It means you recognize you can’t be all things to all people. Newsflash: You couldn’t before your chronic illness diagnosis either, even if you thought you could.
  12. If you have children, bring some homeschool lessons or music lessons, etc to the home via tutors or online tutor. It might not be ideal, but most choices are not anyway. Acknowledge what is not ideal, and find a way to work through it. You getting exhausted from being a rat on a wheel isn’t ideal either. For instance, I cannot drive in bad weather or at night. I also cannot walk in those circumstances and maintain balance. The choices for those times are either that they have online lessons, have at home tutors, or my children have to skip certain activities if my husband also has to work at those times.
  13. Multitask activities. Plan that an off site tutor or activity take place at the same facility or general location as an appointment or other activity to condense time away and reduce task fatigue. This is definitely the trickiest tip, and not always doable.
  14. If you need to work, can you find a way to work from home?

There is no need to feel like you are less for using services. You are not lazy for recognizing limitations or for needing help or for establishing what the family priorities are.

My final pieces of advice are this: Do what makes your situation as flexible as possible. Things come up, so establish margins and boundaries in your life as much as possible. If you have children in the home, don’t rely on them to take over household chores and maintenance. While they may be part of the “Home Team” and maybe chores should be part of home life, they should not be expected to be the solutions either. They are also struggling through the chaos chronic illness brings. The advice “Just get your kids to do it.” is such horribly bad advice. Consider, instead, bringing a counselor onto the team of “advisors” for how to manage your family and you sort out new roles. This is one thing I wish we had known we’d need!

What is your advice?

What are your top tips or for managing your household with a chronic illness?

PS. Want inside info on Lilla Rose hair jewelry sales and upcoming events?
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