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On Being A Yes Mom, Part 1

I want to be a mom who says yes to reasonable requests and opportunities that work into our daily life. It is so much easier to do in the summer time without as much of a school routine, although we do school year round.

A couple of nights ago, Missy E asked if she could get up early and make blueberry muffins for breakfast. She has spent the last few years working alongside me in the kitchen, but has only done a little cooking independently. She checked to see if we had all the ingredients we needed, and we discussed the recipe. She ground the wheat into flour before she went to bed so as not to awaken anyone early. I said “Yes!” to her making very homemade blueberry muffins!

I had pulled an all nighter the night before, so I went to sleep as soon as we finished discussing her blueberry muffin plan, and I was sleeping hard when I heard before 7 am “Mom! There’s a fire!” Nothing says “Good morning” like being jarred awake by the tone of concern and the word “fire.”

Dr. P had tackled our enormous burn pile of brush the entire day before, but it had rained much of the night. Still, I was sure she meant the burn pile was on fire. I ran to the deck in search of flames outside, ordering her to grab the phone in case I needed to dial 911. She said “No, Mom. Over here.” And she pointed to the kitchen. She explained that she had started preheating the oven, but nothing was baking yet. She’d heard a buzzing sound while she was filling muffin tins, and then noted a flame on the heating element in the oven. Sure enough, the heating element had caught fire.

I shut off the oven, and still in a sleep fog just stared at the flame. After a few seconds I realized that it would probably be wise to shut the oven door, and then the flame went out. Dr. P found a piece of foil on the oven heating element and cleaned up a few spills on the oven floor. He turned the oven back on, but it would only preheat to 345º, and it took quite a long time to even get to that temperature. Missy E baked her muffins, but I have a feeling Dr. P should have taken her and her muffin batter to Grandma’s to finish up. I suspect we need a new stove.

Later, once I’d had coffee, we enjoyed her retelling of her problems and her use of problem solving skills to find solutions. Dr. P told me that while mixing the batter, Missy E had run out of canola oil. She had asked him if it would be okay to use olive oil to make up the difference. She had thought through a solution to her problem, and only needed to verify that it was a good solution.

Missy E told me that the recipe called for honey, but there wasn’t enough in the cabinet. She pulled one of my cookbooks off the shelf and looked up substitutions for honey. The cookbook said to use granulated sugar and some water. We don’t use granulated sugar, and she didn’t realize that our granulated sucanat with honey would have worked. She re-consulted with the cookbook substitution chart and found that she could use brown sugar, or in our cabinet, brown sucanat. Again, she encountered problems, thought through solutions, and verified with a sound source.

She didn’t want to wake Mom unless it was an emergency. Flames in the oven constituted emergency, and Mom heard the plea for help even from a sound sleep! We’re thankful we were home when the oven malfunctioned!

Who knew she would face such challenges in her first independent spin with baking!? In spite of all her troubles, her muffins were delicious and we were blessed by her breakfast and dedication to making it.

Blueberry muffins (photo courtesy of pixabay.com

Blueberry muffins (photo courtesy of pixabay.com

I’m thankful I chose to be a “Yes Mom,” even if we have to replace our stove.

Rainboots, Umbrellas, and Puddle Stomping Yes Mom took no photos of her own. Thank you Pixabay.com.

Rainboots, Umbrellas, and Puddle Stomping
“Yes Mom” took no photos of her own. Thank you, Pixabay.com.

Later this same day, the children were squabbling. I sent them out to play. It was raining gently, and they were reluctant to go out. A-Grape asked if they could use their umbrellas and stomp in puddles.

It was just raining, not a thunderstorm, and it was warm out. It felt good to say “Yes!” It was fun to watch from the window, too. Maybe next time I’ll be able to join their puddle stomping!

What request can you say yes to today, even if it’s not ideal or perfect?

On Monday, I’ll share an idea and an opportunity! Stay tuned!

Blessings, 

From Yes Mom, Deb

Blessings During Opposition

When I was studying to be a nurse, I was stroked and confidence in me was expressed. I was told that I was going to be good at all I tried. Nobody ever said “You’re going to hurt someone!” Frankly, that I could have caused serious harm with one mistake as a practicing registered nurse is not an overstatement! I was administering chemotherapy, blood products, and IV pain medications to cancer patients! One fast push of an IV chemo drug, and I could have seriously burned someone’s blood vessels and surrounding tissue. With one fast push of a narcotic, I could have stopped someone’s breathing! Lives were at stake if I made a mistake, and no one ever expressed doubt in my abilities.

Nobody ever told my husband he’d be a lousy college professor and researcher. In fact, when he graduated, his former professors, some now his colleagues, had fairly high expectations for his future. He is sought after by the media as a specialist in his field.  He is sought after as a speaker for subjects he does not even have a degree, but has taught himself and about which he sometimes writes. He is enough to be a church leader and teacher. Nobody told him he would be a failure at teaching other people’s children, or that he would not be preparing other people’s kids for the real world, or that he shouldn’t speak to the public about those other subjects.

In my last post about homeschooling and blessings, I wrote: “In hind sight, though, it was Kindergarten. I do wish we could have relaxed and enjoyed more. Kindergarten should be a joyous and fun filled year, not “rigorous.” I wish we had chosen to save that “rigor” for later, rather than doing spelling flash cards in the back seat of the realtor’s van as we house hunted for the second move in our new city.”

It was hard to relax when our decision for our children was suddenly under scrutiny and deemed certain for failure by others. We weren’t necessarily confident in our abilities to raise our sons, never mind teaching one of them! During the very early years of parenting, we had heard we were good, patient, “intentional” parents. After we made the decision to homeschool, some rhetoric and attitudes toward us changed.  We did not receive expressions of encouragement and confidence. Some people fell silent and wouldn’t bring up the subject of school, not even to ask “What are you learning? What is your favorite subject?” with our kids. Some told us they no longer considered us good parents. If those reactions didn’t feed insecurities, I don’t know what else would.

In the area where we’d be most invested–our children and their future academic success and life preparedness-it was expected and expressed that there would be failure and long term negative consequences by my husband’s and my decision to homeschool our children. It’s (still) a rather stunning, illogical contrast expressed between predicted outcomes for my nursing career success or my husband’s career, and for the success of homeschooling our children. Especially since my nursing career lasted less than four years, and we’ve been homeschooling seventeen years! I have always been confused and hurt by this contrast.  Somehow, by teaching his own children, or allowing me to do so, my husband and I would not prepare our own children for the real world.

We’ve now graduated two wonderful young men. One of our sons graduated with college credits and has served on several short term missions trips. One has quickly earned certifications in his field–just a few months after graduating–and is earning money for his college education. Their employers tell them that they appreciate that they are self starters willing to learn, have good work ethic, and take initiative and responsibility.

Would they have learned this had they attended traditional school? Perhaps. Probably. That’s not really the point.

The point is that we certainly didn’t harm them or their futures by homeschooling, having successfully done so. But sadly, the negativity and discouraging sentiments are ones we still hear, in spite of these and other successes, and in spite of our dedication, faithfulness, proof of loyalty, and longevity to the pursuits.

We decided a long time ago that we would have to learn to be comfortable with the idea that we might never hear positive words from our naysayers. We’re proud of our children and our successes with them regardless of lack of affirmation by some. We’ve definitely had support, affirmation, and help from many, many others. We’ll always be thankful for that!

A blessing in the discouragement is that we have learned lessons in fortitude, perseverance, and endurance in opposition.

We have not been disobedient children, dishonoring those who parented ahead of us.

child-praying-hands-1510773_1920

Prayerful Obedience

We’ve obeyed what the Lord made clear to us after we prayed. As we were prepared by the Lord to hear His directions, we obeyed what His plans were for our family.

He has blessed our obedience.

We’re proud of our family. We’re proud of our service. We’re excited for our children’s futures.

May they honor the Lord in the way He leads them, too. And may we never disparage them or discourage them from doing so. 

Blessings,

Deb

Have you seen the Lilla Rose monthly special? These new product lines are quite beautiful!

July Special BO

Lilla Rose Specials – July 2016

Background and Counting Blessings

We have been homeschooling our children since July 1999. Yes, we did begin our then Kindergartner’s school experience in July. I laugh at our over zealousness now, but then we felt we needed to get a jump on his schooling. He could already read. He was getting bored with preschool and continuing to learn the colors, letters, and numbers he clearly already knew.

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Stock photo from Pixabay.com

We were moving at the beginning of August. We would be living in a hotel for a few weeks, and knew we’d need to have something to do while stuck inside. Plus, we were expecting a new baby in early October that year, moving at 32 weeks. Yahoo! That’s every pregnant mother’s dream come true, right?

As it turned out, we moved twice in six months after living those weeks in a dirty short term housing suite situation. Our first apartment in our new city was 900 square feet packed with 2 small boys and their toys, an infant who cried for three months, a stressed out mommy with a health scare, no friends or church, and bare bones household goods. It was good to have started school early during those difficult transition days of life!

“Home” schooling gave us routine and a sense of new normal in a place that felt nothing like home.

In hind sight, though, it was Kindergarten. I do wish we could have relaxed and enjoyed more. Kindergarten should be a joyous and fun filled year, not “rigorous.” I wish we had chosen to save that “rigor” for later, rather than doing spelling flash cards in the back seat of the realtor’s van as we house hunted for the second move in our new city.

We fully expected to only homeschool for one year, get settled, and then figure out the best educational option for our children in the new location. At the end of the first year of school, finally settled in the home we thought was for a long term, we realized that we had already been led to the best option for our own children. Seventeen years later, we still love schooling our children at home, and we’ve been able to give them different experiences and a love of learning, in spite of and because of hard things that have happened.

We have graduated two children, but still have two children working through high school level work, one in middle school, and one in elementary school.

One of the areas in which we feared failure back in the early days was math. We wanted children well grounded in math and writing skills. It took about three years to find elementary level math curriculum that worked with my teaching style and was flexible enough to work with each member of our growing family’s different learning styles. We loved what we chose, but the curriculum didn’t extend into middle or high school. We had a few years of middle school floundering, figuring that out with our older boys, and while that was a completely successful endeavor, it was hard on me and my time with an infant or preschoolers in the mix. One of our now graduated sons was able to earn college credit in math before the end of high school.

Finding middle/high school math curriculum for the rest of our children that bridges well with my time constraints of teaching several different levels, trying to run a home based business, managing our home and property, and still prepares for the academic rigor we strive for in our children’s high school years in preparation for college and life is no easy feat! But I did finally find one this past year! The problem is that it is a little more expensive than we are prepared to pay. I prayed for a used, but newer version of the Algebra curriculum to prepare our girls for the next textbook I plan to keep using in high school, and I found it used earlier this summer. I needed a replacement for the same Pre-Algebra middle school curriculum, though.

We’re beginning to make progress in debt retirement. Our goal has been to pay cash for all of 2016-2017 online classes, curriculum, or supplies. My husband and I have been successful so far! Last week, I ordered all homeschool curriculum, except this one Pre-Algebra math curriculum, and we’ve paid cash for it all. We’ve paid for three online classes in full without using credit cards.

I prayed that someone would be offering the Pre-Algebra math curriculum used by our next pay period. The day after I specifically prayed for this, a woman in our homeschool community advertised the very curriculum I’m looking for in our group, and at a price point for which I was also praying.

I shared this with Dr. P last night. He asked how much it was going to be. I said “One hundred dollars, and I have no idea how we’re paying for it. We don’t have the cash for it until next week. We need to pick it up in the morning. I’ve prayed for the money.”

He said “Well, today I got a royalty check for some writing I’ve done. It is exactly enough to cover the curriculum in cash, AND still pay my self employment taxes.”

Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of our curriculum, for the finances to be available for curriculum, for tutors to come alongside us when we’ve needed them, for answers to prayers in all of our homeschool journey, and for the blessing of learning perseverance and endurance in this homeschooling race.

We’re gearing up for year 18 of Legacy Academy!

Blessings,

Deb

PS. We had an oven fire this morning, and now our oven won’t get up to temperature. Two burners on our stove top already burned out and in order to not spend money to replace those, we replaced the original coils back. The other two burners are smooth top. Our refrigerator died last month. Guess what we’re praying for in our finances next? Refrigerators and stoves are not just modern conveniences in a home, you know? Pressing on in spite of opposition from the appliance devil.